I have a date on Saturday.

Gotta play it cool. Gotta just be myself. No, scrap that, I’m doing the opposite: got to be somebody totally different to never, ever let her know the real me. I think I can keep that up for sixty-plus years if we hit it off and get married and have several beautiful children. People have kept up bigger cons than that, haven’t they? So long as I dedicate an hour each week to ‘me’ time, in which I’m allowed to be myself. Should be fine.

It’s a semi-blind date, except one where we know what each other look like. I did a bit of digging, and found out that she’s interning with some place that does conveyancing in Mentone, so I think I have a game plan sorted out: we’ll only talk about her. The whole time. The only thing we’ll talk about is conveyancing, which would be great because it’s also the only thing I’ve researched. But oh boy, have I done my research. Did you know that conveyancing is the branch of law concerned with the process of transferring property? Or as it is more commonly known…conveyancing property? It’s true! All of it. People who do conveyancing are known as solicitors, or sometimes lawyers. Conveyancing lawyers. They have to know about the legal documentation in regards to property changing hands, hence the whole conveyancing thing. I could go on, and I will, because sadly there’s no such thing as a date that only lasts the requisite amount of time necessary to impress a girl with your knowledge of her career choice. Just as long as she doesn’t ask about MY career choice, or lack of, thereof. Or what I do with my time, or anything about me, really. Oh, maybe I should VISIT my local Elwood conveyancing office. First-hand experience, anecdotes, all that. Anything to give me more conversation material.