Anton, my cousin from out of town, just told me he wants to get his lips enhanced – apparently, they’re much too thin. He’s been looking into a few cosmetic clinics here in Melbourne, but hasn’t found one that uses substances that he finds satisfactory. At least he wants to make sure he’s not going to break his face with some cheap, low-quality business he’s bought from an online auction (I wouldn’t put it past Anton).

I seem to recall my physio telling me about her sister getting lip filler injections in Ballarat and being pretty happy with the outcome. That’s not too far from where Anton lives; maybe I should find out what the place is called and recommend it to him – it’s all I can do to help in this mission, really, since I don’t know the first thing about the subject.

He went on and on about how old he was feeling, although it soon became clear that he doesn’t actually feel old so much as believe that he looks old. FYI, I wouldn’t give two hoots if he did, which he doesn’t – I’ve tried to convince him of this countless times, but there’s no telling him. He claims that his cheeks and eyebrows are “succumbing to gravity” more powerfully than those of his friends. 

In the end, just to shut him up, I asked him if what he thought about getting dermal fillers. Melbourne, he told me, is the only place for this, because there’s nowhere in Ballarat he’d trust to do his face – although I’m sure the physio I mentioned said something about her sister’s joint specialising in high end non-surgical, face-lift style procedures. If he starts up about this gravity stuff again I’m going to have the name of the place on hand to refer him to. I figure I’ve told him sincerely that he’s beautiful so many times now, I’m allowed to throw him this shortcut next time the topic comes up. If he can make himself feel more confident with some low-impact cosmetic procedures, then he can go for his life, as far as I’m concerned.