You wouldn’t think that Melbourne had many sunken caves…but you’d be totally wrong. You could not BE more wrong! They’ve all been discovered in the last few months, after someone finally managed to correct that silly rumour that the Melbourne bay was haunted by mermaids. Previously, all the scuba divers had just left the place alone, and the only people doing any diving were the treasure hunters. And those people are *idiots*.

But now someone has finally bothered to correct that rumour in the Melbourne Coastal Newsletter, and we’ve found all these caves containing potentially exciting things. How exciting! Naturally, the scuba and boating industries have received a boost, and Melbourne marine mechanics who service outboard motors are the new rock stars. You’d think that would’ve happened sometime in the last thirty years with that TV show about naming boat parts, but maybe it was never as big as I thought. Still, everyone wants a piece of these caves, and that means that they’re getting into the boating craze. The craze for the caves, that’s what they’ll call it. And you can’t sail out to the reef without a functioning anchor winch, hence why everyone in the industry is scrambling to meet demands.

Everyone wants to be known as the guy who fixed the anchor winch on the boat that carried the people who dove down to a sunken cave and found a fortune in pirate treasure. And wouldn’t you like to be famous in Melbourne for the high quality outboard motor repairs that let a group of intrepid explorers dive down and find the hidden history of Australia because they found it written inside a piece of parchment in a bottle inside a wreck beneath the waves that are definitely not infested with mermaids. That’d be totally cool.