I’ve long enchanted my kitchen to make it respond to my mood. I’d do the rest of the house, but I mainly just thought…why bother? I’ve comfy chairs, a bed I like and those things are always good, in all situations. No, it’s the kitchen I need to change. Sometimes I come home tired and angry from a day of work. I would have travelled on public transport which I hate. I just want my kitchen to transform into a plush paradise where the fridge is stocked with frozen goods that I can put into the single microwave in the middle of the room.

Or, if I’m more perky, I’ll find a roaring log fire and an expansive workbench to prepare something nice. People here are so very fond of their kitchen renovations, Melbourne homes are all about style over substance. I’ll be honest, this city has given me ideas. The boss asked me to clear out a particularly bad mess in the ball pit, and with Lorelei, who I hate very much. Lorelei opens her mouth and I feel the usual urge to run away, but she DID say something worthwhile…even if she didn’t realise it. She and her husband- who also sounds most disagreeable- are thinking of getting renovations to their bathroom since it’s ‘outdated’ and Lorelei ‘just wants pink, pink everywhere, have I mentioned how much I LOVE pink!’

I was looking at one of the orange balls and wondering if I could use it for colour inspiration for my renovations. Changing a colour. Changing a space to make it perfect for you. What an idea! People from my realm are so set in their ways, we never think about changing our living space. So I took those principles of proper kitchen design, like they would be from a kitchen design company, and wove them into a new spell. It’s not everyday I’m inspired by something so human.